A new road to take....

Where to start??? I haven't posted in a few days because I wanted to see what the decision would be before trying to make sense of it all & explaining it to the rest of you.
As of this morning (Friday Nov 19, 2010), Oz signed paperwork to let Hospice take over at this point. What is Hospice, you might ask? Good question...I asked this myself when I heard that Dad was considering to use this program. So, I "googled" the question, "What is Hospice?". This is the answer I found, "Hospice is a holistic approach to caring for people who are terminally ill. It involves a team of trained professionals, available 24 hours a day, who provide medical attention, pain management, and emotional and spiritual support tailored to an individuals needs and wishes. It's not a place — it's a concept of care that can be provided anywhere. Along with attending to the patient, hospice teams also provide compassion and support to grieving loved ones during the illness and beyond." (http://www.aarp.org/)
What does this mean?
Basically this means that now Dad will have nurses & a doctor who will come into his house to help take care of him. He no longer will be doing radiation treatment at this time. Dad does have the option to change his mind, if he decides, to stop doing Hospice care & get back on the radiation. For now, he feels Hospice care is the road to take. The Hospice care pays for everything - his pain & anxiety medications, counseling, a hospital bed if he eventually needs one, a wheelchair (which would help him out tremendously since his walking has become VERY unstable lately) & counseling services to help him & family accept & cope with this journey we are now a part of.
Now you might be asking, "Why would Oz choose to stop doing radiation & go with this Hospice care?" Here are a few reasons why.......
No, he has not "given up" by not continuing with radiation. Dad has a major fear & anxiety of the radiation process. He has claustrophobia issues & going through radiation gives him great anxiety. When the radiation is being done Dad has a "mask" that is a mold of the upper half of his body that is placed over him & is strapped down to the table so he cannot move. With these last few weeks of radiation they have also strapped his hands & legs to the table so he has no mobility at all. He has felt completely helpless & like he has no control of himself at that time.
The process of getting ready in the morning to even get to the car to drive to the hospital for radiation has also been a huge challenge. Most of Oz & Cathy's nights lately are sleepless nights because Oz is in so much pain on his side.  So with the lack of sleep, the instability of his walking & the mixture of his anxiety & pain it has not been easy for them the last few weeks. Luckily, Jared has been there to help them do whatever Cathy or Dad may need help with! (Thanks Jared for being as strong as you are & loving Dad & Cathy the way you do!)
In talking with Cathy today, she mentioned to me that she has seen a significant change in Dad since making this decision to not continue with the radiation. She said that he has been more relaxed and happier and patient & nice. :) He still is confused a lot & tired but the Hospice doctor seems to think this may be the mixture of the pain medication & anti-anxiety medication he is currently on. The doctor would like to change his pain medication to a more long term medication which will actually make him more alert once it is in his system. They also want to try a different anxiety medication.
Another major reason that Oz has chosen to stop the radiation is because he received an answer to his prayers & questions in a Priesthood blessing that was given to him by President Callister. President Callister is the President of the Bountiful, Utah LDS Temple. President Callister has known Dad since they were small children. President Callister heard of Dad's condition from our Aunt Sue (my Dad's sister who works at the Bountiful Temple). President Callister immediately asked Aunt Sue for Dad's phone # so he could call him. President Callister called & offered to come give a blessing to him if he would like one. President Callister went to Dad's house yesterday & administered the blessing. Cathy said they felt very lucky to have President Callister in their home & to have him give both Dad & Cathy a blessing. She said he has brought peace & direction to both of their lives & to the lives of those that were present.
So....now you might be asking...."is there a time frame or what is the life expectancy???" Really...no human being can answer this question. That decision is left up to the Lord. How grateful I am to have the knowledge of His gospel & to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Personally, I am hoping it's later, rather than sooner...but only time will tell.
His cancer is a very aggressive cancer. It could very likely spread to other parts of his body, especially without radiation. But Cathy said the doctors have also seen situations where this type of cancer could stop where it's at & not spread anywhere else. Hospice says they will continue to watch Dad & see how he does & the signs of possible spreading. Cathy said the nurse who came to their home has 30 years of experience with Hospice...& Cathy was also very excited because the nurse was also named "Cathy with a "C", just like her! :) I can tell that my parents demeanor & spirits have been touched & changed in the last 2 days. I can tell they are both more at peace. I am thankful for the Hospice program & the nurses who in just a short time have helped & given them some sort of hope & relief.
Just a last little side note......Dad asked the Bishop of their ward if he could speak in Sacrament meeting soon. Since Dad has been sick they have not been able to attend church as they have wanted to. He said he wants to speak so he can bear his testimony & let his ward know that he has a strong testimony of the gospel. So the Bishop has scheduled him to speak on the 28th of November. I think this is awesome & can't wait to hear what he has to say!
Thanks for reading this enormously long post! :) & just a reminder....I haven't received any stories recently....I'm trying to get some out of my siblings but I know it's hard....one of these days I will get them! :)  If you have any to share...please email me at jiggyjaydub@hotmail.com