The end of this road is near....

Here I sit in my Dad's bedroom. Surrounded by my sisters-Kim & Heather. My brothers-Joe, John, Jared, Jason, Paul. Brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, nieces, nephews, Aunt Sue, Cathy & most importantly.....OUR DAD. Dad hasn't gotten up since probably 7:00 pm last night ( Friday, November 26). During the night his breathing became more gurgling & further apart. Today is has become worse. We have been surrounding him since about 1:00pm this afternoon. The hospice nurse came around noon & said that by looking at him the time frame was probably a few hours up to 24 hours. Later this evening the nurse came again & told us that it was probably a matter of hours or by morning.
As I have sat here for about 10 hours so many thoughts & memories have run through my head. All of us sat here for a few hours & sang church hymns to him. We have said many prayers & about an hour ago Scott (Kim's husband), Todd (my husband), John (Oz's 2nd oldest son), Jared (Oz's 3rd oldest son), & Mike (Cathy's nephew) surrounded our Dad & gave him a beautiful priesthood blessing to release him from this life. Although it is a sad time for those of us left behind.....it has been a peaceful, spiritual, & beautiful time.
A few days ago I remember saying I didn't know which way was worse to go through-having our Mom die unexpectedly & sudden back in 1989 or this way that my Dad is going-having to watch him 24/7 go through pain, confusion, anxiety & eventually be in this state of comatose that he is in. Honestly....neither way is really easy to go through....it's never fun losing a loved one to death...& now we have lost our Mom & are about to lose our Dad....but what an AMAZING process this way has been. Having spent the last week watching my Dad decline was so hard at first. The last few days a new feeling has taken over-to be able to feel the peace of knowing life is eternal, to be able to watch Dad see & communicate with family members who have already passed on from this life & to witness the dying process first hand. It has made death not so scary to me. It has helped strengthen my testimony of the gospel of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It has helped our family become closer & communicate & love each other stronger than we did before. It has made me realize how much I love my Dad. How much he loves each of us. I think he is having a hard time letting go because he doesn't want to leave us....because he loves us & has always loved us all so much!!! That is one thing I never questioned in my life....was how much my Dad loves his children & family. How blessed we are to know of this kind of love.
The last 2 days we have witnessed many miracles-
Thanksgiving night (Thursday November 25) Dad wasn't able to make it over to dinner at Joe's (Oz's oldest son). Cathy, John & Mike stayed home with Dad. The rest of us went over to Joe's for a few hours & then brought dinner back for the rest of our family. Most of us spent the night that night & took turns sitting with Dad. When Kim took her time with Dad-at about 5:00 am Friday morning Dad woke up to go to the bathroom. Scott & John helped Dad get there. When he came out he needed to sit down because he didn't have the strength left at that moment to get back to his bedroom. Kim said there was a moment that he was sitting there...he looked around Cathy & said to Kim, "Do you know where your mother is?" Kim said, "Is she here Dad?" He then said, "Where did that lady go?" He then looked over & said, "Hi Karen." We know that our Mom is here with him. I have felt her presence personally & I know she will be there to meet him when he passes away.
As the day went on yesterday (Friday, November 26) Dad became weaker & weaker. He kept wanting to get up to go to the bathroom but didn't even have the strength to stand up at all. He eventually became relaxed & wasn't moving at all. We realized yesterday that Cathy was not listed on Dad's bank accounts at all...not even as a beneficiary or payable on death. We knew that something needed to be done quickly. I used to work at America First Credit Union for about 8 years before I had my baby a year ago.....my "banker" brain broke in & we started brainstorming. We had some Power of Attorney papers already printed off from a few weeks ago but they never were signed by Dad. A miracle occurred....I no longer have my Notary abilities, there was no one in the ward/area that was around or available, Zion's bank didn't have "the manpower" at the Ogden branch to send someone over....so we thought of Aunt Sue who used to work at Zion's Bank. She thought of a woman that she used to work with who she called & was able & willing to come. She even remembered my Dad from when he used to go into the Zion's Bank Farmington Branch & when my mom passed away. This woman also lived up the road from us when we lived in Farmington. What a miracle & how grateful we are for her willingness to do that! Thank you so much Laura!!!!! When Laura got here, Dad was completely out of it & asleep. She sat down at the table to fill out her portion of the papers & her notary journal. Before we walked into Dad's room I said a prayer in my heart that Dad would be able to wake up & sign these papers & understand what he was signing. The moment I finished my prayer...Dad opened his eyes & became more alert than we had seen him the past day! It took some time for him to be able to hold his pen & understand exactly what he was signing but he did eventually understand & sign his name so that Cathy would have the ability to take care of things!!!! Dad was alert for about an hour after that while Uncle Andrew, his wife Katherine, & cousin Greg came to visit. He did eventually become anxious & restless & wanted to get up to go to the bathroom. After that he decided to go to his bed......he finally became relaxed....& he hasn't gotten up since.
Dad did also mention yesterday that he saw Eino-Eino is our mom Karen's biological father who left when she was about 3 or 4 years old. So none of us ever knew him. How wonderful it is to know that our Mom is with her father again & that Dad will be too.
None of us know at what hour Dad will leave this life....but we know that time is near. We know that it is okay. We know that we have been blessed to know Oz. We know that we will live together again someday. We know that he will be near us & watching over us. Daddy.....we love you soooooooo much!!!! You have been the BEST Dad we could have asked for.......God be with you till we meet again........