Christmas.....

No...I haven't forgotten about this blog. It still crosses my mind every single day. But it's still a little hard to post & talk about my Dad in the past tense. Christmas wasn't easy & definitely not as exciting this year. For the first time in my life...I felt a little bit like Scrooge....it was hard to truly find that "Christmas spirit". As I shopped for presents this year, every time I was in a store the thought "what should I get my Dad for Christmas" popped into my head & then I would remember he was no longer physically here. Christmas morning felt especially unusual...most Christmas mornings I have spent helping & watching Dad cook a big breakfast of sausage, hash browns, eggs, bacon, pancakes, etc. for all of us. This year I sat at a table eating Raisin Bran. It's strange to finally realize how important family traditions are. How much you miss them when they no longer happen. How much I missed my Dad that day. I knew I couldn't give my Dad a physical present for Christmas but I did go to the Farmington City Cemetery on Christmas for the first time since the funeral to wish him a Merry Christmas in Heaven. I really could feel his & my mom's presence there. I have ALWAYS felt my mom's presence there...but it felt so much different there this time...to look at the headstone & see the date of death for my Dad engraved there too...

I looked at the two hands clasped as I stood there crying.....I knew that they were holding eachother's hands in heaven....spending Christmas together again for the first time in 21 years. A feeling of peace came over me & I knew life is the way it should be. I knew that the best present I could give to my Dad is to live my life the way he & my Mom & my amazing step-mom have taught me to live. To live so that I can see them again someday & that we can be an eternal family. My Dad gave me the best present of all...raising me & teaching me to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. & for this I am truly thankful! There is no greater peace than believing & knowing that Families Are Forever & knowing that I can & will see my parents again someday. Thank you Dad! 

I read this Christmas poem a few weeks ago from someone in my ward & I also received it in an email from my Aunt. It hasn't left my mind...so I thought I would share it with all of you. I know Dad had a wonderful Christmas in Heaven!

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,

With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear,

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear

But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me.  I see the pain inside your heart,

But I am not so far away.  We really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me dear ones.  You know I hold you dear,

And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I send you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is the gift, more precious than pure gold.

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.

For I can’t count the blessings or love He has for each of you.

So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.

Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.